Crying in Leviticus

Selah Reverie
Jul 23
2 min read

Each morning, I pick up where I left off the day before, then I read a Psalm or Proverb. That's the rhythm I've settled into. But reading through Leviticus? Rough.

The Law of Moses. Chapters and chapters on how to live, what to eat, what to sacrifice. Marriage laws, sex laws, food laws. How to deal with mold. It covers everything.

As I read, I started wondering if maybe they had it easier. It was all laid out for them. No wondering required.

Jesus came to set us free. We're no longer under the law. But in some ways, it feels like we're just out now, on our own. Figure it out. No more stoning. No more cast outs over eating pork. Or shrimp.(thank You, Jesus).

God killed Aaron's sons for offering unauthorized fire at the altar. I had the realization that this God, that holy, exacting, powerful God, is our God. Same God who created everything. The same One who doesn't play games.

I got overwhelmed. I want to be close to Him. The doubts and anxieties crept in, and I started wondering, what can I do, little old imperfect in every way, Amy, how can I please God.

Before I knew it, I was crying in Leviticus.

Somewhere in my desperation, the thought came that if I could offer up a sacrifice, I would do it. Ridiculous, I know. I'm not going to find a ram in the thicket and even if I did, I'm not in the habit of sacrificing animals. But my heart wanted to give something. Anything.

I decided that was enough Leviticus for the day and opened Psalms. Now, I'm not one to randomly flip and point at verses. That feels a lot like a game to me. But today, my eyes fell on Psalm 51.

In it, David is feeling a lot like me. Pouring his heart out to God, raw and desperate.

And then this part;

"For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;

You do not delight in burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,

A broken and contrite heart-

These, O God, You will not despise." -Psalm 51:16-17

I almost fell off the bed. So you're telling me that thousands of years ago, King David had the same exact thoughts that I had? The same feelings. He wanted to give something, anything, to be in God's favor. And he realized the truth. That God doesn't require a show or a burnt offering.

True repentance, true Love, is on the inside, in the secret place that only He can see.

He wants our hearts.

And that's the message I needed. He just wants us.

"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God,

that you present your bodies a living sacrifice,

holy, acceptable to God,

which is your reasonable service." -Romans 12:1